Ok, I recorded this in my little bedroom studio in 1987 with a Korg DSS-1 sampling synthesizer. I was an idiot. There was overwhelming response to this being played on my show (none of it positive, mind you) so I thought I’d post it here for your non-enjoyment. Drive your significant other crazy with it, pretending to like it.
It’s titled “Eat Fiber and DIE” for no other reason than hipsters were (correctly) extolling the virtues of fiber at the time and I was an ass. If you can’t understand it, the refrain is “Someone roll me a GREAT BIG ‘SPLEEF’, in return I’ll give you MANUAL RELIEF!”
At the time, there were “massage parlors” all over my area that advertised “Manual Relief” in signs outside their little trailers that they stacked up all up and down the highway just into the county. Once the county made handjobs illegal, the parlors went away, but the euphemism never left me.
yr obt svt,
Dr Steve
PS: Here are the lyrics:
There’s a lot of things that I would like to say
I’d like to talk to you, talk to you today
There’s a lot of scary things happening in this world
It’s a scary scary scary kind of world
Someone roll me a great big spliff
In return I’ll give you manual relief
Someone roll me a great big spliff
Madman options
French fried dough
You don’t read the papers,
So what do you know?
You think kickin’ ass be cool…
…shove a bomb up your ass, cut off your tool.
There’s a lot of things, I’d like to say to you
But you won’t listen, won’t listen, won’t listen, will you?
You bitch about the world’s a piece of shit
But you won’t do nothing about it, go suck your mama’s tit.
Someone roll me a great big spliff…
As long as you’re just pissin’
Ain’t no one gonna listen.
Do something about it.
Get up, get up, get off your brush head ass
Go fucking run for mayor or something, I dunno.
There’s a lot of things that I would like to say
I’d like to talk to you today
There’s a lot of scary things happening in this world
It’s a kind of scary kind of world
Someone roll me a great big spliff…
