Weird Medicine Healthcare for the Rest of Us

September 9, 2009

Weird Medicine Ringtone!

Filed under: Steve's Blog — dr steve @ 11:34 pm

I haven’t figured out how to let you just enter your cell phone number and my site will send it to you, but if you email this to yourself as an attachment you should be able to save it as a ringtone.   Or if you have a blackberry, just move it over with your USB cable (@stryker from Twitter tells me it works just by saving it in the browser.  I gotta upgrade my phone).

On Verizon, don’t use [my number]@vtext.com, rather use [mynumber]@vzwpix.com.

Anyway, RIGHT CLICK HERE and click “save target as…” and you’re all set.

Let me know if it works…I’ll upload more dopey crap.

your pal,

steve

September 6, 2009

Weekly H1N1 Update for XM202 and Sirius 197 Listeners

Filed under: H1N1 (Swine) Flu — Tags: , , , — dr steve @ 12:07 am

Generally, what’s going on in Asia and the Southern Hemisphere during our summer (remember, it’s their winter) reflects what we’ll see during the winter here. So far, the H1N1 virus shows no signs of mutating into some bizarre “superflu” that the media continues to warn us against. I will repeat this again, no one can predict what this virus will do. It may continue to be a rather mild influenza virus (that still kills a significant number of people worldwide every year), or it could change and become a real problem. Influenza can kiss my ass. As soon as the vaccine is available, go get your shots. The more people that are immunized, the less likely this stupid virus is to spread. We don’t have to immunize EVERYONE to get the desired effect (though that would be ideal). If you can just immunize “most everyone”, the virus will have a hard time spreading throughout the population. It looks like vaccine will be available the middle of this month (September 2009).

Here are some facts from the CDC:

This situation report provides an update to the international situation as of August 28, 2009. As of August 23, the World Health Organization (WHO) regions have reported over 209,438 laboratory-confirmed cases of 2009 H1N1 influenza virus with at least 2,185 deaths. The laboratory-confirmed cases represent a substantial underestimation of total cases in the world as many countries focus surveillance and laboratory testing only in persons with severe illness. The 2009 H1N1 influenza virus continues to be the dominant influenza virus in circulation in the world. Decreases in disease due to 2009 H1N1 continue to be reported from South America and parts of Australia. The United Kingdom is also reporting national decreases in disease due to 2009 H1N1. In contrast, disease associated with 2009 H1N1 influenza is continuing to increase in southern Africa, and more African countries have reported their first cases. In addition, 2009 H1N1 continues to circulate in tropical countries.

So the mortality rate is 2185 deaths for 209438 cases, which translates to approximately 1 death per 100 cases. The death rate is therefore 0.0104.

If you have a fever, muscle aches, cough, headache, malaise…go see your health care provider. This virus is still sensitive to standard antiviral therapy (don’t tell it!) but you have to catch it in the first 48 hours to do any good.

Good luck! I’ll keep you in the loop best I can.

your pal,

Steve

PS: don’t miss “Weird Medicine”, 9-12MN EDST (6-9 Pacific) on Saturday, Sept 12th, 2009. This is an ALL NEW show, our “Fecalicious Turdastic Extravaganza” show, and it was pretty good. Check it out on Xm 202 or Sirius 197.

September 1, 2009

H1N1 (Swine) Flu: Don’t Panic (yet) (with O&A audio)

Filed under: H1N1 (Swine) Flu,Steve's Blog — Tags: , , , — dr steve @ 6:11 am

Fox News and other networks have been running a story that “scientists” are “predicting” a resurgence of the H1N1 (Swine) Flu virus this winter, one that will rival the influenza epidemic of 1918. My sources at the CDC tell me that in fact, this is simply a report about a contingency plan by the government in case the worst does happen. No one is able to predict what this stupid virus will do, but planning for the worst is never a bad idea. We talked about this briefly on O&A this morning, albeit in my typical “you woke me up, you asshats” stupor.

Barring a “superflu” of “Stephen King’s The Stand” proportions, it’s unlikely that the 1918 death rate will ever happen again. During that pandemic, 1/3 of the Earth’s 1.5 billion people got the flu, and 1/10th of those died from it. One thing they didn’t have back then that we do now: Antiviral medications. Another thing: mechanical ventilators. Another thing: the internet and mass media so people can stay abreast of what’s going on. Another thing: Purell. Another thing…well, you get the picture.

There are higher than normal influenza cases right now. The CDC issued this statement today:

  • Visits to doctors for influenza-like illness (ILI) were highest in February during the 2008-09 flu season, but rose again in April 2009 after the new H1N1 virus emerged. Current visits to doctors for influenza-like illness are down from April, but are higher than what is expected in the summer.
  • Total influenza hospitalization rates for adults and children remain low and are well below the seasonal winter-time average of the last four years.
  • The proportion of deaths attributed to pneumonia and influenza (P&I) was low and within the bounds of what is expected in the summer.
  • Most state health officials are reporting local or sporadic influenza activity. Two states are reporting widespread influenza activity at this time. Any reports of widespread influenza activity in August are very unusual.
  • Almost all of the influenza viruses identified were the new 2009 H1N1 influenza A viruses. These 2009 H1N1 viruses remain similar to the viruses chosen for the 2009 H1N1 vaccine and remain susceptible to antiviral drugs (oseltamivir and zanamivir).
  • So wash your hands, don’t put your fingers in your eyes, nose and mouth, and remain vigilant. If you come down with a fever/aches/pain/cough go see your primary care provider.

    your pal,

    steve

    (Check out the O&A audio…you can hear what a dumbass I am at 6:30AM)

    August 25, 2009

    August 22 (and 29) 2009 Weird Medicine

    Filed under: Podcast — dr steve @ 10:35 pm

    The second in the “all voicemail” shows;  this one features four adults arguing about who passed gas in the first minute of the show.   How old are we?  “I didn’t do it!” “Whoever smelt it dealt it…”  “Whoever shit it, did it…”  whatever.  Grown men.   There’s nothing funnier than farts, though, so this show started off auspiciously.

    Topics we covered:

    Flatus and its effects on adults (no difference from 6 year olds)
    the history of the barber pole
    the next LIVE weird medicine (we said oct 24, but it’s really Nov 7th)
    coprophilia (cleveland steamers! yay! and Brooklyn Blowhard)
    epididymitis
    why condoms stink
    lap band for obesity
    low testosterone levels (hypogonadism)

    @weirdmedicine Dr. Steve feels your pain. on Twitpic

    “Dr Steve Feels Your Pain”, by rascal_helper

    August 15th Weird Medicine

    Filed under: Podcast — dr steve @ 10:25 pm

    I have this resident named Erin and she demanded that I start being more timely regarding uploading Weird Medicine episodes.   So here is the first of the two “all voicemail” episodes that we did while O&A were on vacation.

    These shows were a dry run for the 3 hour Fecalicious Extravaganza that will air soon on the SNV, and that was a dry run for the upcoming LIVE SHOWS from NYC and the Nashville XM-Sirius studios.   What we’re really hoping (and this is all still up in the air) is that Sirius will appreciate the value of Weird Medicine and will book it monthly for a three hour live show.   We’ll still go to NYC yearly to shove fingers up people’s rectums, but the pre-recorded shows will be no more.   We’ll see!  Erock and Danny are helping us with this and we’ll post more when we know more.

    This show contains adult content (as do they all).   Since the tag generator in WordPress doesn’t work with this custom theme, here are the topics we covered:

    Billy Mays Toxicology Report
    Hair Follicle Drug Tests
    Semen taste
    Genital Warts
    Human Papilloma Virus
    Fear of Flying
    Anxiety
    Square Breathing
    Smoking Cessation
    Condoms and Erectile Dysfunction

    August 24, 2009

    Announcing: The 3 Hour Stool-fest on the SNV!

    Filed under: Steve's Blog — dr steve @ 7:20 pm

    Next week?  The week after?  Not sure when it will run, but we recorded a 3 hour “Fecalicious Extravaganza” for the Saturday Night Virus that’ll run 9-12 EDST.  Holy crap, how many turd questions are there out there?   What are you people eating?  Really, it’s not all questions about fecal matter, but poop-related questions seemed really common this time.   It was fun to do, and I hope you enjoy it.  It’ll be nice to be on primetime again.

    Just as a preview:
    This lady has a Bristol Stool Scale of 4...find out what that means on the next Weird Medicine!

    This lady’s turd has a Bristol Stool Scale of 4…find out what that means on the next Weird Medicine!   (We’ll announce the date as soon as Danny lets us know.)

    August 13, 2009

    New Weird Medicine Shows on XM202 Sirius 197!

    Filed under: Steve's Blog — dr steve @ 10:51 am

    We got the call from Erock: “When the boys are out of town, we want you to do two new shows for the Midnight Saturday and Sunday night slots.”   We need practice for the upcoming October LIVE show, too, so we did a two hour “voicemail only” extravaganza.   I put out a call for voicemail questions a couple of weeks ago, and we got enough for 4 shows at least.   We answered them in pretty random order, simulating a live show and I think it really worked, especially the second one (on the 22nd, 23rd). 

    So give us a listen at 11:59 Eastern on  XM202, Sirius 197:

    • Saturday August 15
    • Sunday August 16
    • Saturday August 22
    • Sunday August 23

    I think we’re going to stick with this format for awhile;  call in your medical (or science) questions to 423 343 8884 (423 DIE TUTI) and we’ll get them on the air as soon as we can!

    This week’s topics:

    • Fear of flying
    • Changing the taste of ejaculate
    • Bedbug intercourse (they’re DISGUSTING)
    • Billy Mays’ toxicology report
    • condoms and erectile dysfunction
    • and a bunch of other fascinating stuff!

    On the  August 22, 23 show, listen as 4 grown men halt a national radio show in its tracks as they try to deduce which one is lying about passing flatus in the studio.  (It’s a guy thing).

     

    your pal,

     

    Doctor Steve

    August 6, 2009

    Weird Medicine Merchandise!

    Filed under: Steve's Blog — dr steve @ 5:30 pm

    Look, don’t worry about it, really, don’t.   If you don’t want any of this crap, don’t feel obligated or that our feelings will be hurt.   We got a really cool logo from Matt Hoffman (Fluffernutter, from RonFez.Net fame) and wanted to splash it everywhere.   It’s on my twitter, will be on here soon, and is now featured on Tee Shirts, Mugs, and all kinds of other cruddy merch at CafePress.

    You can also visit the Weird Medicine Store, where we’re compiling an e-store of the stuff we mention on the show that you can buy over the counter.  It has sections like “Your Horrid Bowels” and “Your Awful Stomach” with all kinds of proven remedies you can buy right there and have delivered to your door.

    If I can think of any other ways we can whore ourselves out, I’ll let you know.   I do promise this: every penny we ever make (and again, I don’t expect to make any, so it’s ok (what a great salesman I am)) will go to producing LIVE Weird Medicine shows and other worthy causes.

    your pal,

    Steve

    PS: we’ll be on two weekends in a row when the boys are on vacation.  I’ll post the dates in the “On Air” box as soon as I know them.   These shows will be “all voicemail” shows, so don’t forget to call 423 DIE TUTI before Wednesday August 12th!

    July 9, 2009

    July 4th Dead Celebrity Special 2009

    We asked for airtime to discuss medical problems that are related to the current crop of dead celebrities, including Michael Jackson (why do doctors treat celebrities differently than “normal” patients?), Billy Mays (how to avoid sudden cardiac death), and Farrah Fawcett (diagnosis and treatment of rectal cancer). I really, really tried to use these peoples’ demise as a jumping off point to discuss something relevant or interesting to our audience. Everyone else has done the tribute/bashing/whatever; I wanted to do something a little different.  We tried “turning the senseless deaths of famous people into information you can use to try to live forever.”

    Thanks to sam and dave for giving up their airtime over the holiday weekend. They’re purty good fellers.

    Thanks to mj@musclesorority.com for getting three of us on her program. Double Vasectomy Todd has regained almost 2 inches of lost manhood on her program. If you’re interested in talking to her, she’s very reasonable cost-wise, and really knows her stuff.

    We are working hard toward a live show Oct 17th from NYC, and possibly another live show Labor Day weekend from Nashville.  Stay tuned.

    your pal,

    Steve

    PS: Check out the WEIRD MEDICINE STORE!  This is new and all proceeds will go to keeping Live shows on the air.

    June 25, 2009

    June 20, 2009 Weird Medicine

    Filed under: Steve's Blog — dr steve @ 11:37 pm

    Ok, so we got shuffled again, this time to the 12MN EDST slot, whenever SPECIAL DELIVERY isn’t on (take a break once a month willya guys?)

    This show discusses the “Private Parts Reclamation Project” by Double Vasectomy Todd, who is training under MJ Kovaleski from MuscleSorority.com.  After barely 3 weeks, he’s lost 18 lbs, 4 inches around his waist, and more importantly, 3/4 of an inch of reclaimed male membership (if you catch my drift).

    You can follow Todd’s progress on his twitter feed: DBLVASTODD

    You can follow our show twitter feed at WEIRDMEDICINE.   Please follow us, we want to beat Sam and Dave in the followers department.  🙂

    Show topics: A humorous outtake surprise, erotic asphyxiation, gender reassignment female to male, cockring safety, tobacco related mouth lesions (BAD!) and a few other gems.   I’m getting off my Cymbalta…I think it’s making me dull.   We’ll see over the next few months if there’s any noticeable change.

    your pal,

    Steve

    PS: here’s a picture of MJ Kovaleski…she obviously knows her stuff when it comes to bodybuilding and nutrition!

    MJ Kovaleski, Official Weird Medicine Trainer

    MJ Kovaleski, Official Weird Medicine Trainer

    Click here to check out the WEIRD MEDICINE STORE.

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